YOU KNOW YOU'RE A SKYDIVER WHEN...

You're making love to your partner and they whisper "I've never done this before" and you yell out "THAT'S a case of beer!".

On cloudy/windy days you pull out your parachute and pack it just to say that you've done something skydiving-related.

You "dirt-dive", "post-dive" and critique your love-making sessions..

Whenever a passenger in a fast-moving car, you stick your head out the window and yell "FIVE LEFT" to the driver.

You don't own any clothing that you didn't get at a boogie.

Every single one of your whuffo friends is to the point of wanting to kill you every time you mention skydiving.

You analyse every flag you see in terms of it's too windy/not too windy to jump.

You analyse every flag you see in terms of which direction you'd face to land.

It's a dark sky with low clouds and you're thinking "Hop -n- Pops!".

It's so windy that trees are bending over and you're thinking "Cross country!".

You allow a maximum 55 seconds of "working time" when making love.

Every time someone's beeper goes off you look at your watch to see if it's break-off altitude.

You don't remember your anniversary or your mother's birthday, but you know down to the second how much accumulated freefall time you have.

You analyse sessions of love-making in terms of "points turned".

You refer to your recent break-up as an "intentional cut-away".

You walk everywhere watching the sky.

You show up at the DZ even on the worst-weather days because at least you can sit around drinking beer.

You have your paycheque direct-deposited into the DZ account.

You plan your vacations around skydiving boogies.

You've kissed more people in freefall than you have on the ground.

You have more pairs of Tevas than you do sneakers.

You catch yourself flaking the bed instead of making it

You wonder what whuffos _DO_ with themselves on gorgeous summer weekends

You look at your VCR and think, "Hmm, that's gotta be worth a few jumps."

Your log book is thicker than any book you've ever read.

You stop by the New River Bridge and take a look. All the others are saying 'damn, look how high it is' and you're saying 'damn, look how low it is'.

When you wear your rig on commercial passenger flights, just in case.

When seeing seats in a twin otter gives you the willies.

When you log a jump on December 25 and the fact it is Christmas doesn't enter your mind.

You estimate your chances of pulling off a hard front riser turn when looking out any window above four stories.

When you wake up with a mean hangover in a tent, the first thing you check is your rig. Then the person sleeping next to you.

You find yourself mentally telling the pilot when to flare while landing on a commercial flight.

Every time you get pulled over for speeding you tell the cop you just made your first skydive in the hopes that he will let you go.

Your favourite movie in the world is just over sixty seconds long.

Your whuffo friends only call if the weather man says the weekend will be shitty.

Your friends look at the sky and say, "look at all those clouds", and you say, "look at all those holes!".

You can't think of a better way to relax other than falling 10,000 feet.

You see an incredibly beautiful woman and you think, "hmm, I wonder if I can talk her into . . . skydiving."

Your girlfriend holds out her left hand and says the word diamond. You picture a four-way formation, look at your girlfriends hand realise the diamond she's talking about is going to cost over 200 jumps, and then, with a smile, picture your girlfriends suitcases on the porch.

You try to convince the flight attendant on a commercial flight that you really! would be much more comfortable sitting on the floor.

Your friends think it's funny to, when you are sleeping, blow a fan in your face and set a beeper off near your ear.

When someone asks you where you're from, you reply with the name of your DZ, not your hometown.